That moment on the dance floor when you see your old dance crush. Who you for a while also thought was your love. When you cannot really let go of the memories, and the fact that you used to dance for hours. And when you end up leaving the party without having danced, barely said hi.
And you wonder, how can it be. These dramatic changes. From being so close and connected to seemingly strangers.
You blame yourself for not being more pushy. For being all naive thinking he would search for you on the dance floor, when these days clearly he has a huge fan club.
In those moments, the dance world feels destructive and dark. But then next thing you know is this dancer you’ve been watching, suddenly comes up to you with a big smile on his face, asking you to dance. And moments later you find yourself captured in a flow of creativity and awesomeness, forgetting about everything else.
And you might have several more of those magical moments. I had amazing dances Paris Kizomba Congress last weekend. With both new and old dance partners, that made me shut out the world and just feel. That wonderful effect of kizomba.
And that’s how it is, constant changes, dance crushes coming and going, flows of oxytocin, disappointments and feelings of emptiness, in a lovely mix. These contrasts.
And the only thing you can do is accepting change. And that sharing in this world is the only way. Dance crushes are amazing, but replaceable. Your next festival you might not be that interesting anymore, and reverse, suddenly you feel that this person you had great connection with is not as magical after all. And that is natural when dancing, because we all develop, change our style and taste along the way, the more we dance. When accepting that your taste, your favourites and the level of magic can vary, you can embrace this world in an easier way.
Also, I strongly believe that connection is something created in the present, inspired by your mood, openness, sensitivity and energy that particular day. Together with the music (the DJ) atmosphere, and universe, the follow and lead create a unique connection, which I know can be difficult to recreate.
That’s why you have to learn to let go. However if you are a sensitive person in the kizomba scene it’s not easy. When you lose your crushes or lose your love or when you find yourself in the middle of dramas you never asked for, you can get a dip, start to doubt yourself and even hating this world you threw yourselve into with open arms.
Because it’s not only dance. It’s so much more. When you dive deep into it, it’s relationships, jealousy, lack of confidence, psychological games, status and a whole bunch of other symbols, expressions and norms that we are surrounded by and deal with between those wonderful dances.
If you are a sensitive person in this world, you will have amazing kicks but also painful falls. Make sure you surround yourself with good people and make sure to let go when something bothers you, as applies to normal life too. Take care of yourself and embrace the gains and losses.